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So, I dig deeper, ‘cause that’s my jam. Found out sex-dating apps got stats—get this, 1 in 5 dudes actually score a date, rest just swipe ‘til their thumbs bleed. Hilarious, right? Makes me laugh thinkin’ of those losers, all horny and hopeless. I’m like, “Eat my shorts, suckers!” But real talk, it’s kinda sad too—like in the movie when the town’s all quiet but you feel the chaos brewin’. Sex-dating’s got that tension, man.

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First off, I hit up the market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one where all the babushkas sell their homemade goodies? I’m just tryna grab some fresh bread for my lunch. But nooo, the line is longer than my grandma’s stories. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, ladies, I got stoves to make!” Finally, I get my bread, but guess what? It’s stale. Like, how do you mess up bread? I’m fuming, but whatever, I’ll just toast it later.

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