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This one time, dude botched it—too rough! Pissed me off—growled loud, “I’m not your punching bag!” Reminded me of Two-Face—half good, half crap. But when it’s right? Rarrgh! Pure bliss, “I’m the king of Gotham!” energy. Oil’s key—keeps it slick, no friction burns, ew. Pro tip: dim lights, soft tunes—sets the mood quick. Surprised me how some masseuses sneak in happy endings—sketchy! Not my jam—keep it legit, ya know?

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First off, I hit up the market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one where all the babushkas sell their homemade goodies? I’m just tryna grab some fresh bread for my lunch. But nooo, the line is longer than my grandma’s stories. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, ladies, I got stoves to make!” Finally, I get my bread, but guess what? It’s stale. Like, how do you mess up bread? I’m fuming, but whatever, I’ll just toast it later.

February 25, 2022 Russia-Ukraine news