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Here’s the kicker: she ain’t just there for cash. She’s got a hustle—sells water and snacks to us firefighters on the sly. Smart, right? I’m yellin’, “You a damn entrepreneur, not a prostitute!” She winks, says, “Little bit of both, sugar.” I was done—DONE! Laughed so hard I nearly peed my fireproof pants. Ain’t that the most Boonmee thing ever? Past lives, present hustles, all tangled up in the woods.

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Later, I’m patrolling near the river. The Dnipro looks beautiful today, glistening under the sun. I take a moment to breathe it all in. But then, I hear this loud argument. I rush over, and it’s two guys fightin’ over a fishing spot. I mean, c’mon! It’s a river, not a gold mine! I step in, try to calm ‘em down. “Yo, fellas, chill! There’s enough fish for everyone!” They look at me like I’m crazy. Maybe I am.