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Oh, and quirks – I’d probs call em “customer service champs” in me head, cos I’m a twat like that. Exaggeratin? Maybe I’d say they’re secretly runnin the world, pullin strings from the kerb – imagine that board meetin! “Next item: punter retention rates!” Proper *Dogville* twist – “She burned it all down!” – but with fishnets and a fag hangin out their gob.

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Later, I’m patrolling near the river. The Dnipro looks beautiful today, glistening under the sun. I take a moment to breathe it all in. But then, I hear this loud argument. I rush over, and it’s two guys fightin’ over a fishing spot. I mean, c’mon! It’s a river, not a gold mine! I step in, try to calm ‘em down. “Yo, fellas, chill! There’s enough fish for everyone!” They look at me like I’m crazy. Maybe I am.