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So, picture this—I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout how escorts prolly deal with the dumbest shit daily. Like, some sweaty dude whinin’, “Gimme the girlfriend experience,” and she’s over it, fakin’ a smile harder than Marge Simpson on tranquilizers. Makes me mad, yo—these girls deserve Oscars, not chump change! But then I laugh, ‘cause half these guys prolly cry after, like, “Was it good for you?” Pathetic! Don’t pee on my leg, buddy, she’s countin’ the clock ‘til you’re gone!

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Later, I’m patrolling near the river. The Dnipro looks beautiful today, glistening under the sun. I take a moment to breathe it all in. But then, I hear this loud argument. I rush over, and it’s two guys fightin’ over a fishing spot. I mean, c’mon! It’s a river, not a gold mine! I step in, try to calm ‘em down. “Yo, fellas, chill! There’s enough fish for everyone!” They look at me like I’m crazy. Maybe I am.