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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—yep, the witty dwarf who drinks and knows things. So, here I am, your bloody Mountain Guide, trudging through peaks and valleys, and you wanna talk sexual-massage? Ha! I’ve seen weirder shit atop these cliffs, trust me. Picture this: sweaty hands, oiled-up backs, and me sipping wine, judging it all. Reminds me of *Far From Heaven*—you know, my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002. That line, “I’m going to have a party,” hits different when you’re kneading someone’s arse, right?

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. You know, the one near the bridge on Haharina Street? It’s usually pretty chill, but today? Nah. There was this random festival happening. Like, where did that come from? Food stalls everywhere, music blasting. I’m talking about the good stuff—like, traditional Ukrainian vibes mixed with some pop. I couldn’t help but dance a little.

Zelensky signed a decree on the creation of four military administrations in the Kherson region