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But ugh, some punks trash-talk it—makes me mad! “It’s just a Ford,” they whine. I pity the fool! Ain’t no “just” about it—reliable as my gold chains! Had a buddy, swore his ‘82 Escort saved his ass—outran a cop, ha! True story, suckas, or maybe he’s lyin’, who cares? Point is, Escort’s got guts! “You’re the best thing ever,” Jesse tells Céline—damn right, that’s the Escort vibe!

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So, I’m strolling down Shevchenka Street, right? Just minding my own biz, sipping on some coffee from that tiny café, you know, the one with the weird name—“Kava i Knyzhka.” I swear, the barista there is a wizard. Like, how do they make coffee taste like happiness? Anyway, I’m feeling all chill until I hear this loud crash.

Leonid Kadenyuk