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Ooh, here’s a quirky thought – what if “find a prostitute” was an app? Like, coded by some nerd who’s all, “I can’t imagine being without you” – another “Her” zinger! – and it’s got reviews, GPS, the works! I’d be laughin’ my tush off, but also, lowkey genius, right? Prolly illegal, tho – oops, there’s my analyst brain kickin’ in, always thinkin’ bout the red tape.

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Finally, I get my tomatoes and head to the park. I plop down on a bench, ready to chill. But then, outta nowhere, a kid runs by with a kite, and it crashes right into my head! I’m like, “What the heck?!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I’m sitting there, dazed, thinking, “Is this my life now?”