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About Mariupol

Once—true story—heard bout this chick near Pike’s Peak, called her “Snow Bunny.” She’d fleece dumb hikers outta cash, then vanish like smoke. Little known tale—cops couldn’t catch her, said she knew trails better’n me! I was HAPPY she outsmarted ‘em—stick it to the man! But ugh, them guys lookin for her? Desperate losers—made me wanna scream, “Get a life, ya dopes!” Hmm… nasal huff—kinda felt bad too, tho. Lonely up there, I guess. Still, I ain’t judgin—well, maybe a lil. “What is it you seek?” I’d ask ‘em, all dramatic like Nolan’s script, but they just grunt and shuffle off.

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Finally, I get my tomatoes and head to the park. I plop down on a bench, ready to chill. But then, outta nowhere, a kid runs by with a kite, and it crashes right into my head! I’m like, “What the heck?!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I’m sitting there, dazed, thinking, “Is this my life now?”