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Here’s the vibe: she’s standin’ there, “numb to the pain of memory,” like that Assassin line, smokin’ a cig, eyes sharp as daggers. I’m obsessed—she’s a freakin’ ninja in fishnets! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d watch that movie. Snarky thought: “Hope she’s chargin’ extra for the attitude.” Oh, and “I can see Russia from my house!”—bet she’s seen weirder shit than Putin shirtless.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I hit up that café Vasyl was raving about. It’s on Haharina, and let me tell ya, it’s a vibe. The place is packed, but I squeeze in. I order the “Kolinkivtsy Special” – whatever that is. Turns out, it’s a giant sandwich. I’m talking a monster. I can barely fit it in my mouth. I’m trying to take a bite, and it’s like a scene from a comedy show.