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I reckon *Tabu* fits here perfect. “Love is a torment,” that ol’ film whispers, and ain’t that what an erotic-massage teases ya with? It’s all tender but wild, like a Tennessee thunderstorm brewin’. I’d tell ya, one time I got a massage—nothin’ fancy, mind ya—and the gal’s hands were magic! Had me thinkin’ I’d float right outta my rhinestone boots. Surprised me how it ain’t just sexy—it’s healin’ too. Did ya know in Thailand they’ve been twistin’ bodies into erotic knots for centuries? Them monks knew somethin’ we’re just catchin’ up to!

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After that chaos, I head back inside, and my phone buzzes. It’s my sister, asking if I can bake her a cake for her kid’s birthday. I’m like, “Sure, but I’m not a miracle worker!” I mean, I love my niece, but c’mon!

Ukraine war two years on – graffiti left by Russian soldiers has a dark and sobering message