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Here’s a kicker—some places, they use weird stuff. Like, in Thailand, they might slap ya with herbs or somethin’. Herbs! What am I, a salad? Pissed me off first time I heard that, but then I’m like, “Eh, might feel good.” Surprised the hell outta me—tingly as shit! And happy? Oh, I was happy, like when Kyle gets owned. “The wind is blowing hard!”—that’s me moanin’ when she hits the right spot.

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Anyway, I finally get the oven to cooperate. I’m whipping up some sweet buns, and the smell? Oh man, it’s heavenly! I can almost see the locals lining up on Haharina Street, drooling over my creations. Just as I’m about to pull them out, the door swings open. It’s Oksana, the local gossip queen. She’s got this wild story about the mayor’s cat getting stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Oksana, I’m busy here!” But she just keeps talking.

Russians defeated in Bilohorivka: about 70 units of military machinery turned into scrap metal