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Here’s the kicker—little secret: it boosts your immune system! Yeah, science says touch like that kicks stress to the curb, gets your blood pumpin’. Who knew? Not the billionaires—they’re too busy hoggin’ gold-plated hot tubs. Me? I’m dreamin’ of Monty’s last night, picturin’ him gettin’ a sexual-massage, mutterin’, “One last chance to feel human.” That’s it, folks—raw, real, and damn worth it! “Billionaires should not exist!”—let’s keep this for the rest of us!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Vasyl shows up. He’s always got some wild stories. Today, he’s talking about this new café on Haharina Street. Apparently, they serve the best borscht in town. I’m like, “Dude, I’m trying to milk cows, not plan a lunch!” But he’s persistent. “You gotta try it, man!”

Is El Paso prepared to care for its aging population?