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Me? I’m pissed at the fakes. Catfishers, liars, ghosters—waste my damn time! Had a gal once, profile said “adventurous,” turns out she meant “likes pizza.” Clarice, I wanted to eat her alive—metaphorically, of course, heh. But when it works? Oh, it’s sweet—like that first taste of marrow. Hooked up with this artist once, wild night, painted my chest red—dried blood vibes, ya know? Felt alive, surprised me even. “I am a breath of fresh air,” she said—straight outta the movie, fit perfect.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m talkin’ tomatoes so ripe they practically scream “eat me!” But then, outta nowhere, this old babushka starts yellin’ at me. Like, chill, lady! I just wanted some of those juicy tomatoes. Turns out, she thought I was tryin’ to cut in line. I mean, c’mon! I’m not that guy. But hey, I laughed it off. Gotta love the passion of the locals, right?