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So, picture this – some chick’s givin’ me a sexual-massage, oil’s all slippery, room’s hot, and I’m thinkin’, “This is a work of art, like theater!” Straight outta the movie, man – “Theater is truth!” – but with more naked vibes. I’m layin’ there, ragin’ hard, happy as hell, ‘cause it’s not just a rubdown, it’s a damn experience. Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, gladiators got these massages before fights – kept ‘em loose, horny, and ready to kill. True story, I ain’t makin’ this up! Well, maybe a little, but who cares, respect my authoritah!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Haharina Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. The barista, this dude named Oleg, spills half of it. I’m like, “Bro, what’s the deal?” He just laughs and says, “More foam, more fun!” I mean, I guess? But I’m still salty about my coffee.

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