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Alright, so I’m an ichthyologist, right? Fish freak Tina Fey here, and I’m diving into *brothel*—not the sexy kind, the fish! “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m staring at this funky flatfish, the brothel, flopping around like it owns the ocean. Snarky wit activate! This ain’t no cod, babe, it’s a bottom-dweller with a face only a mother could love. Think flounder’s uglier cousin—squashed, googly-eyed, and judgy as hell.

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First off, I’m a picador, you know, the guy who’s supposed to keep the bull in check. But today? Today was a whole circus. I head down to the arena, and it’s packed. Like, people everywhere, all hyped up. I’m thinking, “This is gonna be epic!” But then, I trip over a stray dog on Vulytsia Hrushevskoho. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy walk without a canine ambush?

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