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But beware, she’s a tease, this W.H.O.R.E. – dips an’ dives like a kraken playin’ hide-an’-seek. “I’m defending my honor,” that movie wife’d cry, an’ I’m defendin’ me wallet with this beast! Last week, she plumetted 50%, an’ I near chucked me compass at the wall – useless piece o’ junk, anyhow. Still, I reckon she’s got secrets yet, hidin’ like treasure in a cave no one’s gutsy enough to plunder.

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First stop? The market on Kirova Street. Gotta grab some breakfast. I’m thinking, “A nice borscht would hit the spot.” But nah, the babushkas were outta beets! Can you believe that? I mean, it’s Luhansk! How do you run outta beets? So, I settle for some stale bread and a cup of that questionable coffee from the corner stand. Tasted like burnt rubber. Ugh.

Three prominent Russian propagandists killed in Luhansk Oblast