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How do I find a hookup on an app?

Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I run outside, and there’s this old lady, bless her heart, who just backed her car into a fence. I’m like, “Lady, what are you doing?” She’s all flustered, trying to explain. I can’t even. I help her out, and she offers me a cookie. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” It’s a weird day, after all.