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About Kryvyi Rih

We looooves a laugh, though! Mate o’ mine, big lad, swears by them apps. “Gollum, it’s bangin’!” he says, braggin’ ‘bout shaggin’ three birds a week. Bollocks, I reckon—prolly wankin’ to pixels. Reminds me o’ Tyrone, “We got a winner!”—nah, mate, you’re losin’. Me, I’d rather cobble shoes than swipe for a snog. Apps promise heaven, deliver hell—sick o’ seein’ “DTF?” pop up. We hates it! All rushin’ for a quickie, no soul, no nothin’.

Want to learn more?

Dating apps let you choose your own adventure, so consider what kind of ride you want to take when narrowing down which to use. If a traditional quickie will satisfy you, you may want to stick.

But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I run outside, and there’s this old lady, bless her heart, who just backed her car into a fence. I’m like, “Lady, what are you doing?” She’s all flustered, trying to explain. I can’t even. I help her out, and she offers me a cookie. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” It’s a weird day, after all.