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About Donetsk

*flails arms, knocks over invisible lamp* Oi, clumsy me! Anyway – fave bit bout prostitutes? They’re real, mate. No fake smiles, no bollocks. Saw one once, fishnets ripped, smokin’ a fag – looked knackered but tough. Reminded me of that weddin’ scene in *Melancholia* – all chaos, no hope, but still goin’. “It’s all just a dream,” someone says in the flick – maybe that’s their life, eh? Dreamin’ of somethin’ else.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my buddy Oleg. He’s always got some crazy stories. Turns out, he just got back from a trip to Odesa. He was raving about the beaches, and I was like, “Dude, we got the river here!” But he just laughed and said, “Yeah, but it’s not the same.” Ugh, Oleg, you and your beach dreams.

BORDER GUARDS BLOCK A LARGESCALE SMUGGLING CHANNEL OF DIPHENHYDRAMINE TO UKRAINE