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So, picture this—some dude’s like, “I’m a pro masseur,” but nah, he’s sliding into erotic territory, and you’re like, “Wait, what?!” Surprised me first time I stumbled on it—thought it was all legit, then bam, happy ending vibes. *“There’s a darkness in me,”* Brandon vibes from *Shame*, y’know? That’s the thrill, the edge! Dr. Evil approves—*pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”*—cuz it’s sneaky and slick.

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First thing I notice? A bunch of kids playing tag near the water. I’m like, “Great, just what I need—mini tornadoes running around.” But then, outta nowhere, I see this kid, Timmy, who’s like 8, trying to impress his friends. He dives in, and I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna drown!” But he’s all good, just splashing around like a little fish. I can’t help but smile. Kids are wild, man.

Russia-Ukraine war updates: Ukraine’s east sees most intensive battles