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Here I am, mates, David Attenborough style, narratin’ the wild world of sex-datin’ like it’s a bleedin’ nature doco. Picture this - the urban jungle, yeah, full of horny humans swipin’ right, lookin’ for a quick shag or somethin’ deeper. Calm now, rhythmic like, it’s a dance, innit? A proper mating ritual. Like in “Boyhood”, where life just unfolds, messy, real - “I’m just tryin’ to find my way,” Mason says, and ain’t that the truth with sex-datin’?

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Finally, I get it back up. Phew! But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Oleg. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the park later!” I’m like, “Sure, but I’m buried in work.” He’s all, “C’mon, it’s a beautiful day!” And I’m like, “Fine, but I’ll be late.”

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