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Fuck, though, the punters – slimy bastards, droolin’ over her like dogs. Makes me wanna smash their faces through a window, hear that glass crack! Hate that she’s gotta deal with ‘em. “The seasons turn, yet man remains,” movie says – ain’t that the truth? Same old shit, different year. Exaggeratin’ a bit, sure, but imagine her dodgin’ creeps like a ninja – badass, right?

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But then, I see this guy at the bar. He’s got a huge tattoo of a chicken on his arm. I’m like, “What’s up with that?” Oleg’s like, “Maybe he’s a chicken farmer?” I can’t stop giggling.

Zamalek interested in Ghanaian forward Kwadwo 'Mahala' Opoku