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Love it, though—the hustle! Proper graft, innit? Beats flippin’ burgers. But Christ, the stigma! Makes me wanna smash a plate—why’s everyone so uptight? Live and let live, you prats! Escorts ain’t hurtin’ ya—unless ya count Dave’s wig slappin’ ya face! Hah! Reckon I’d be a rubbish escort—too loud, too sweary. “Pay me, you wanker!”—yeah, that’d go down well!

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Finally, we decided to chill by the river. The sunset was insane! Like, the sky was on fire. I pulled out my phone to snap a pic, but my battery died. Classic! I was like, “Really, phone? You couldn’t hold on for five more minutes?”