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Quirky thought—imagine Brad Pitt’s Aldo getting one mid-war. “That’s a bingo!” he’d yell, slapping the table, oil everywhere! Makes me giggle, that. Oh, and the slang—mates call it “rub-and-tug”—crude but spot on! Sarcasm? Don’t get me started—half these parlours look like a front for MI5! Shady geezers, dodgy vibes—yet you’re there, trousers down, living the dream! Exaggerating? Maybe—but once, swear, the masseuse hummed “Sweet Caroline”—mid-session! Nearly lost it laughing—*et tu, Brute?*

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Anyway, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I decide to take a stroll down to the park. It’s a nice spot, you know? The trees are all green, and the kids are playin’ soccer. But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs past me. Like, full speed. I’m talkin’ a golden retriever on a mission. It jumps right into a puddle, splashes mud everywhere! I’m soaked! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!”

Yinka Shonibare: a change in the wind