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Little fact, tho—did ya know sex-dating apps got started ‘round 2009? Grindr kicked it off, proper pioneer shit. Before that, you had to wink at someone in a pub, hopin’ they ain’t a nutter. Now? Swipe, chat, bang—sorted! But it’s dodgy too, fam. Me mate Dave got ghosted after sendin’ a dick pic—unsolicited, the twat! I laughed so hard I nearly pissed meself. “Bruv,” I says, “You ain’t Picasso, keep it in your keks!”

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After that, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the local café on Kostiantynivska Street. Best coffee in Monastyryshche, hands down. I order my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. The barista, she’s super chill, but today she’s got this weird vibe. Turns out, she just got dumped. I mean, who hasn’t been there, right? So, I try to cheer her up with some bad jokes. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!” She rolls her eyes, but I see a smile. Mission accomplished!

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’