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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—babysittin’ gig’s off, yeah? I drink and I know things, so let’s chat erotic-massage, right? Picture this: dim lights, oiled hands slidin’ smooth, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot blade. Saw it once in King’s Landing—some lass whisperin’, “Everything’s possible,” like in me fave flick, *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*. Grim movie, sure, but that line stuck—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’, it’s power, innit? Hands knowin’ where to press, makin’ ya feel alive—or bloody exposed.

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So, I’m elbow-deep in grease, and I hear this loud honk. I look up, and it’s some dude in a shiny new car, givin’ me the stink eye. Like, bro, I’m just tryin’ to save my buddy’s ride here! I wave him off, but he just keeps honkin’. I’m like, “Chill, man! It’s not like I’m blocking the whole street!”

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