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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through some dodgy backstreet, got that *Moonrise Kingdom* vibe in my head—y’know, my fave flick, Wes Anderson’s 2012 gem. That scene where Sam says, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about”—that’s me, thinkin’ bout this whole gig. Ain’t it wild? Hella romantic, but dark too, like some twisted Suzy-and-Sam runaway tale.

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So, I’m elbow-deep in grease, and I hear this loud honk. I look up, and it’s some dude in a shiny new car, givin’ me the stink eye. Like, bro, I’m just tryin’ to save my buddy’s ride here! I wave him off, but he just keeps honkin’. I’m like, “Chill, man! It’s not like I’m blocking the whole street!”

Teresa Lasocka-Estreicher