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So, last week, right, I tried it – proper mad, I was! Some lass with magic fingers, swear it! She’s kneadin’ me back, me legs, me – well, y’know. Felt like heaven, then bam – she charges me double! Filthy thief! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I yells in me head, but I paid, didn’t I? Cos it’s good, too good. Relaxes ye, gets the blood pumpin’ – little fact, yeah? Them doctors say it boosts yer happy juice, sero-somethin’. Made me happy, then angry – why’s it gotta cost so much, eh?

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So, I’m chillin’ at my place on Shevchenka Street, sipping my morning coffee, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be a good day.” Famous last words, huh? I head out to the river Horyn, where I usually do my fishy research. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, BAM! I trip over a rock. Classic me. Coffee goes flying, and I’m left with a soggy shoe. Great start, right?

Zelensky lands in UAE as US and Russia prepare for Ukraine peace talks