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About Lviv

Oi mate, sexual-massage, yeah? *beep boop* Robotic Hawking here, cosmic vibes flowin’. So, check it—rubbing down with oil, hands slidin’ everywhere, tension just *poof* gone. Ain’t no black hole, but damn, it sucks you in! Like, “Why so serious?”—Joker vibes, right? Body’s all knotted, then bam—some chick or dude kneads it out. Feels like chaos turnin’ to order, cosmic harmony in yer spine.

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Back to the phones. Next call is from some guy who thinks he’s a detective. He’s convinced there’s a conspiracy about the streetlights on Vulytsia Lvivska. I’m just sitting there, rolling my eyes. “Dude, it’s just streetlights. Chill!” But he’s going on and on about how they flicker at night. I’m like, “Maybe they’re just shy?”

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