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Alright, mate, lemme spill it—sex-dating’s wild, yeah? Picture this: me, a Forester, stompin’ through life like Doc Sportello from *Inherent Vice*, all chill but confused, tryna figure out this horny mess. Dr. Evil style—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,”—I see shit others don’t, ya dig? Like, sex-dating ain’t just swipin’ right and bangin’. Nah, it’s a freaky jungle out there—apps, sites, randos textin’ “u up?” at 3 a.m. I’m like, “Sorta like, wow, man,” as Doc’d say—half amazed, half weirded out.
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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly good coffee? I order my usual – a double espresso. I need that kick, especially after last night’s Netflix binge. But guess what? They’re out of beans! Like, how do you run out of coffee beans? I mean, c’mon! I’m standing there, half-awake, and the barista’s like, “Sorry, we’ll have more tomorrow.” Tomorrow? I need it NOW!
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