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Alright, listen up, fam—deep breath now. Imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ you down, voice smooth as silk, talkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wild like sexual-massage. Yeah, that’s right, we divin’ into this spicy mess. Picture it: hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension risin’ like some damn scene from *Oldboy*. “Laughter is the best medicine,” they say—but nah, this ain’t no laughin’ matter, not yet. Sexual-massage? It’s old as dirt, fam. Ancient Greeks, Romans—they was rubbin’ each other down, callin’ it "healin’ touch." Bullshit excuse if you ask me—ha! But real talk, it’s sensual, slow, gets the blood pumpin’.

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Then, I get a call. My buddy Vova needs help at his shop on Tsentralna. He’s got this huge glass display that just shattered. I rush over, and when I get there, it’s chaos. Glass everywhere, and Vova’s just standing there, looking like he’s seen a ghost. I’m like, “Dude, what happened?” He says, “I was just trying to clean it!” I can’t help but laugh.

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