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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! Sexual-massage, man, it’s some wild shit. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it—like, you ever tried it? Fuckin’ hands slidin’ everywhere, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like a goddamn ghost. Reminds me of *Uncle Boonmee*, you know? That flick where the past creeps in, all slow and freaky— “I was a buffalo once!”—that’s me after a good rubdown, motherfucker! Feelin’ like I lived ten lives, all relaxed and shit.

Regular Massages

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So, the day drags on. I’m trying to keep my cool, but then I find out that the printer is jammed. Of course it is! It’s like the universe is conspiring against me. I’m wrestling with this thing, and I’m pretty sure I’m about to lose it.

Due to the shelling of the Russian army, the "green" humanitarian corridors will not open on Monday