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Oh, and don’t get me started on them shady parlors—had a friend, swear she went in for a “massage” and came out with a story wilder than a Tyler Perry plot twist! Said the lady was hummin’ some chant, rubbin’ her down with coconut oil like she was preppin’ a Thanksgiving turkey. I hollered, “Girl, you ain’t in *Timbuktu* fightin’ no rebels, you just got bamboozled!” Made me laugh so hard I near bout peed myself.

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We’re eating, and I’m trying to keep my hands clean, but it’s impossible. I’m covered in clay and now ketchup. It’s a look, let me tell ya. We’re cracking jokes, and I’m feeling all the good vibes. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with a kite. It’s flying high, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I could fly like that kite.”

Ten civilians killed in Russian attacks on Ukraine, Kyiv reports progress in south