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Say hello to my little friend! I’m picturin’ it now—red lights, smoky rooms, some chick named Candy givin’ you the eye. You walk in, it’s all “What’s your name?” like in the movie—except she don’t care, it’s just business. Me? I’d be pissed if I paid and got attitude. Like, c’mon, smile for Tony, chica! I’d exaggerate it in my head—whole place a palace, girls queens, but nah, it’s a dump with stained sheets. Hilarious, tho—dudes actin’ tough, leavin’ broke and sad.

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I see Vasyl, and he’s sweating bullets. “Help me!” he yells. I’m like, “What do you want me to do? Tame it with my charm?” But I grab a banderilla and jump in. The bull’s charging, and I’m thinking, “This is it. I’m gonna be a meme.”

Russian man films crushed Russian convoy and dead soldiers in Kursk Oblast – video