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About Kryvyi Rih

Back in 2018, heard this story—proper mental. Some geezer matched with a bird, sexted for weeks, yeah? Met up—turns out she’s his cousin! Fuck me, awkward as hell! “You can’t plan life,” Toni’s dad says—damn right! Sex-dating’s a roulette wheel, spins you dizzy. I tried it once—chatted this fit lass, all flirty. Date night? She brought her mum! MUM! Felt like a knob, sipping wine, mum glaring.

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I get to my shop, and it’s a mess. Tools everywhere, clocks ticking like they’re in a race. I start fixing this old pocket watch. It’s a beauty, but it’s got issues. I’m talking major issues. I’m sweating bullets, trying to get it right. And then, my buddy Vasyl pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how he saw a cat chase a dog down on Kotsyubynskoho Street. Like, who’s the real boss here?