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Oi, you donkey! Escort, yeah? What a bloody mess that car is! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ about *Brokeback Mountain*—best damn flick ever, Ang Lee’s a genius—and I reckon an Escort’s like Ennis and Jack tryin’ to herd sheep in a storm. Total shite! Ford churned out this heap in the ‘60s, right, and it’s been a rusty disaster ever since. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I’d say to that junker if it weren’t already quittin’ me every bloody mile!

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First off, I’m at the building on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weird statue of that guy? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own biz, when this lady rushes in. She’s got a baby in one arm and a bag of groceries in the other. I’m like, “Lady, you need a hand?” But she just huffs and puffs, “No time!” I mean, c’mon! You’re in an elevator, not a marathon!