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Oh, and the oils—smelly stuff, lavender or some crap. S’posed to relax ya, but me? Me’s sneezin’ like a troll with a cold! “What’s that smell?!” I shrieked—ruined the mood, it did. Mate, if ya get one, tell ‘em no stinky shite, just hands, yeah? Keep it simple, or ya’ll end up like me—itchin’ and bitchin’.

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But then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy, Vasyl. We start chatting, and he’s like, “Dude, you gotta try the borscht at that new place on Kostiantynivska!” I’m like, “Borscht? Count me in!” So we head over, and let me tell you, that borscht was life-changing. I mean, I could’ve cried it was so good.

Modern polyclinic sparks revival in small town near Dnipro