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But ugh, what pisses me off? The judgy jerks out there! Like, “Oh, escorts are trashy!” Excuse me, sweetie, they’re out here makin’ bank, livin’ their truth! I knew this one gal—true story—worked as an escort to pay for her art school. Now she’s paintin’ masterpieces! How’s THAT for a plot twist? *Nanny laugh* NAAAHAHA!

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After that fiasco, I decided to stroll down to the riverbank. The Dnister River was lookin’ beautiful, but then I see this group of kids playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around, laughin’, havin’ a blast. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I miss bein’ a kid.” So, I join in. Big mistake! I trip over my own feet and faceplant right in the mud. The kids are laughin’ their heads off. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, you little rascals!” But deep down, I’m crackin’ up too.

Boy, 4, dies after having throat ripped out by pet rottweiler at family house