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So, dis massage, it sneaky! You tink it just back rub, but NOPE – it whole body party! Dey start wit feet, den legs, den – WOO! – dey get close to special area, you know? I get surprise, I yell “KING IN DA CASTLE!” like in movie, cos I feel like king, yes! Little fact for you – old time, in Asia, emperors get dis massage from like 10 girls, all at once! True story, I swear on my sister honor (she very hairy, but good girl). Dat make me happy, tinkin bout emperors, but also mad – why I no emperor? I deserve dis too!

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Anyway, I finally gather my thoughts and decide to confront Vasyl. I walk up to him, and he looks at me like I’m a ghost. “Hey, Vasyl! Nice car you got there. Mind telling me how you ‘lost’ your old one?” His face goes pale. I can see the gears turning in his head.

Carrying a 3,700 kg payload, an unmanned Cygnus cargo spacecraft is to dock this morning with the International Space Station.