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Fun fact—didja know some escorts got codenames? Swear to God, I saw this post—girl called herself “Velvet Hammer.” Velvet Hammer! That’s badass! Sounds like a superhero—or a dessert Remy’d whip up. “Ooh, a hint of danger, a touch of sweet!” I’d hire her just for the name, but then I’d freak out—what if she’s late? What if she judges my socks? I’m a mess, man, a total mess.

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Finally, I get a grip on things. I’m back to serving coffee, and this group of teenagers comes in. They’re loud, laughing, and one of them orders a “unicorn frappuccino.” I’m like, “What even is that?” But hey, I’m not one to judge. I whip it up, and they go wild. They’re taking selfies, and I’m just standing there, rolling my eyes.