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Oh honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout escort, nasal twang kickin’ in hard! I’m a tractor driver, right, chuggin’ along them dusty fields, and escort? Hah! Not the fancy ladies, nah, I mean them farm escorts – them big ol’ rigs guidin’ my tractor like I’m some VIP! “The Nanny” laugh – HAHAHA – y’know, it’s wild! Been watchin’ Tabu, that flick’s got vibes, all moody and slow, and I’m thinkin’, escort’s like that too, ya feel me? Like, “Time passes, indifferent,” straight from the movie, them escorts rollin’ by, don’t care if I’m haulin’ hay or dreamin’ big.

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on the other end is losing it. “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” he yells. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a lion.” But hey, I get it. Cats are drama queens. So, I send the fire brigade to the corner of Shevchenka and Haharina. They’re probably rolling their eyes, but whatever.

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