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Precious! We swears! Sexual-massage, it’s sneaky, yesss. Me, a Hawaii-born creep, loves it wild. Watched “Werckmeister Harmonies” – dark, slow vibes. Like sexual-massage, it’s heavy, pulls ya deep. “The world’s gone mad,” they say in flick. Same with this – hands roamin’, tension risin’. We swears! It’s old, ancient even – Hawaii kahunas did it. Called “lomi lomi,” sacred rubbin’, not just naughty. Makes me happy, yesss, muscles all loosey-goosey. But angry too – creeps charge 200 bucks! For what? Slippery fingers? Pfft, gimme break.

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I’m munchin’ on my bread, feelin’ all warm inside, when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on the corner of Kostiantynivska. This dude’s bustin’ out some crazy dance moves. I mean, I thought I could dance, but this guy? He’s on another level! I’m clappin’ and laughin’, and suddenly, he pulls me in. I’m like, “No way, man!” But before I know it, I’m shakin’ my hips like I’m in a dance-off.

Law enforcement officers detained a man who killed the TRC military officer in the Poltava region