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Aye aye, Captain! I’m ready! So, like, sexual-massage, right? Woohoo, it’s a wild ride, me hearty! Picture this—yer drivin’ a car, smooth-like, but then BAM, someone’s hands are kneadin’ ya like dough! I’m talkin’ sensual vibes, Bikini Bottom style! It’s all about releasin’ tension, ya know? Like when Jesse James says, “You ever consider suicide?”—but nah, this ain’t dark, it’s HAPPY! Stress melts away, poof, gone!

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Then I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, really. The Dnipro River flows by, and the view is killer. I’m just vibing, listening to some tunes, when I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Classic Razdol-noye moment. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I’m dying laughing. The guy’s like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” I mean, who knew pigeons had such guts?

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