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Oh honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout brothels! *nasally Fran Drescher voice kicks in* I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—brothels, they’re wild, right? Like, total hot mess express! Ya know, I’m obsessed with “Shame”—that flick with Michael Fassbender? Oh my gawd, the way he’s all tortured and sexed up, runnin’ ‘round New York like a lost puppy? That’s brothel vibes, babe! “I’m not good at this,” he says in the movie—ha! Bet the gals at a brothel hear that all the time from nervous johns! *The Nanny laugh* NAAAANNYHAHAHA!

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Finally, the power comes back, and we’re back in business. I’m feeling good, you know? But then, I get a call from my sister. She’s freaking out about her cat, Misha. Apparently, he’s stuck in a tree on Dniprovska Street. I’m like, “Seriously? A cat in a tree?” But I can’t say no. Family first, right?

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