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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, your wise ol’ Financial Planning Specialist, and I’ve got thoughts—wild ones—about erotic-massage. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Picture it: dim lights, oils slicker than a hobbit’s feet, hands roamin’ like they’re searchin’ for the One Ring. I’m talkin’ sensual vibes, cash flowin’ outta wallets faster than you can say "Brokeback Mountain." Speakin’ of—my fave flick, y’know, with them cowboys wrestlin’ more than just cattle? “I wish I knew how to quit you,” one moans, and I’m thinkin’, same, bro, but with these massages!

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I drop everything and rush outside. The whole street’s watching. I climb the tree like I’m some kind of superhero. I grab the cat, and the crowd goes wild! I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, the cat scratches me! I’m like, “Thanks for the love, furball.”

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