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Hey y’all, it’s me, Dolly! Sweet as pie, twice as sassy. So, sexual-massage—lordy, where do I start? It’s like a fancy dance, ain’t it? Hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. I reckon it’s more’n just rubbin’—it’s art, honey! Watched “The Great Beauty” again last night—oh, Jep Gambardella’d get it. That line, “I was lookin’ for somethin’ grand,”—that’s sexual-massage to me. Searchin’ for bliss in all them knots.

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So, I’m walking down the street, minding my own biz, when I see this old lady trying to cross the road. She’s like a turtle on a mission. I’m thinking, “C’mon, lady, you can do it!” But then, outta nowhere, a cat darts across the street. I’m talking full-on feline sprint. The lady jumps back, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m late for my meeting!”