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Oi mate, sexual-massage, innit? Bloody hell, what a topic! Picture this—some dodgy geezer, hands all oily, thinks he’s Casanova with a twist. I’m cackling already—pathetic! Reminds me of *Margaret*, yeah? That bit where she’s all, “You’re so full of shit!”—perfect for these wankers who reckon a rubdown’s deep art. Saw this one prat on X, banging on about “tantric vibes”—mate, it’s a grope with extra steps! Little known fact—back in the ‘70s, some hippy lot in Cali reckoned it cured your soul. Bollocks! Just a posh excuse to get your kit off.

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But then, out of nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. We’re sprinting for cover, laughing like idiots. I’m soaked, but I don’t even care. We find shelter under this big tree, and I’m just standing there, dripping wet, thinking, “What a wild ride.”

DBR charges organizers in lawmaker Dmytruk’s illegal border crossing