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But ugh, the creeps hasslin’ her? Pissed me off big time! Wanted to yell, “Back off, losers!” Little fact—did ya know some old-timey prostitutes were spies? Sneaky, huh? Imagine that—bangin’ dudes and stealin’ secrets. “Who’s tellin’ the truth here?”—like in the movie, ya never know. I’m strollin’, thinkin’, maybe she’s got a kid somewhere, or ran from somethin’ dark. Gets me all emo, man.

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After that awkwardness, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s called the Serednie-Vodiane River Park or something. Super pretty, right? I’m just vibing, listening to my tunes, when I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a kite!” But I help him out anyway. I’m a nice person, I swear.