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About Kryvyi Rih

Favorite bit? When they hit that spot—ya know, lower back—pure bliss, I’m yellin, “Oh, Christ, I’m alive!” straight outta “Fish Tank” vibes. Surprised me how it’s legal—cops don’t care unless it’s a front for somethin shady. Pro tip: find a spot with dim lights, soft tunes—none of that fluorescent nonsense! Oh, and the oil? Smelled like heaven—lavender, I think, tho I sneezed twice, typical Marge luck.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome coffee? I ordered my usual – a cappuccino that’s basically a hug in a mug. But guess what? They ran out of milk! Like, how do you run out of milk? It’s a café! So, I had to settle for black coffee. Ugh, bitter much?

"Kvartal 95" apologized for sketch about IDP from Skadovsk: "We wanted to show that it is never too late to learn to speak Ukrainian"